would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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