Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize