I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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