i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
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