I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
