It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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