we're chasing vodka with high fives
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
