Why are handjobs necessary in class?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
