The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
