you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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