I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
