Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
