So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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