do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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