This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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