Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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