Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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