I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
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