Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
