My brain says no but my pants say off.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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