your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
