U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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