I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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