oh god the rape fog is back!
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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