i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
