It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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