dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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