You smell like stripper and shame
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I wish you could order shots online.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
