i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
