We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
