dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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