i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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