i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
50% drunk capacity currently
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Randomize