She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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