You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
