He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
