So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
