Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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