laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Randomize
