i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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