addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize