If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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