is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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