brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
