I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
