Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Randomize
