I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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