I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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