return my video game
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
it's like iHOP with fire
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
