____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
She said her name was "party"
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
