We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Alive.
So much puke
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Randomize
