I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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