Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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