how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Be still, my beating vagina.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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