Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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