i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Do you still have your period?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Randomize
