i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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