Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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