I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
time to smoke my breakfast
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize