sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize