apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
