someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
