Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
accomplished twins. life is a go
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
