I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
