sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
